The Birth of Asa Kayil Johnson

Our first son, Asa Kayil, was born January 4th of 2008. This is the story of his birth from his father’s perspective.

Millicent was born in January of 2006. She was born in our bedroom with only Michelle and I present. No doctor, no midwife. Just us. After that uplifting and beautiful experience we were convinced that we should never do it any other way. When Michelle became pregnant with Asa we calmly (since we were not longer rookies to unassisted home birth) began preparing for his birth. This means digging out the old birth supplies, getting a new birth pool because that’s how Michelle likes to deliver…in the water, stuff like that.

Toward the end of October I began to notice that Michelle’s face seemed fairly swollen compared to when she had been pregnant with Millicent. After doing some research I began to regularly take her blood pressure and test her urine for protein (a sure sign of preeclampsia). Her blood pressure was very high…so we agreed that she would go on bed rest until it came down. It never came down. The week after Christmas (2007) she began to pass protein in her urine. On the 2nd of January I took a sample and the amount of protein present was so much that it was off the scale of the strips I was using! I was very concerned for the health of Michelle and our unborn baby. Michelle wanted nothing to do with a trip to the doctor, though. Since the conception of Millicent we had done our own “prenatal” type care and felt very confident and self reliant in this area. I promised her that we would just go “consult” with a doctor and I would bring her home, as we suspected they would want to admit her and give her a c-section or some other asinine thing like that. We were correct.

We consulted with the doctor who was, admittedly, as cool as could be expected when present with a preeclampsic woman who is 39 weeks pregnant, had no prenatal care, and is not open to the option of any medical intervention. Anyway, after some discussion, the doc wanted to cut the baby out. I said no (as I had promised Michelle). We did agree to come back the next day however, so Michelle could be induced.

As a side note, I told the doctor a number of things about Michelle’s condition including gestation, amount of protein in her urine, even her exact dilation and amount of effacement (I don’t usually check much, but sometimes toward the end we get curious). I think we scored some points, when the hospital tests confirmed us correct on every prognosis.

In order to get Michelle and I to agree to inducement we had the doc and nurses agree to a long list of requests (more like demands).

1. Minimal “internal” exams.
2. Amount of inducement drug (pitocen) will be controlled by us. We wanted to slowly increase the amount to “kick-start” labor and then back it off, so Michelle’s body could do the work and not the drugs. Typical practice is to overwhelm the mother’s body with the drug and get the birth done quickly.
3. Absolutely no c-section.
4. Absolutely no breaking Michelle’s water.
5. Keep all medical personnel and machines as far away from us as possible.
6. As much privacy as possible.
7. Leave baby attached to placenta until the umbilical cord “dies”. Common hospital practice is to cut it very soon after the baby is born.

There are more…but you get the picture. We had envisioned how we wanted Asa’s birth to go down. Obviously, being in the hospital was a huge blow to that, and we were doing all we could to keep the rest “our way”.

I have said all of this, but I have not expressed how much of a bummer going to the hospital was for Michelle. I mean, I wasn’t happy about it. But, Michelle, it was a really big deal to her. When we drove into the hospital on the morning of January 4th, it was a very sad thing.

Most of the morning was spent with Michelle hooked up to a pitocen drip to get labor started. Since we insisted on going slowly it took a few hours for much to happen. My parents hung out with us for much of the morning and helped take care of Millicent. Ashlea also was with us and that was a huge blessing. Kori and Kati were out of town visiting relatives, but were able to make it to the hospital that evening. My sister, Carol, and her 3 children spent a few hours with us in around lunch time. By the time Asa arrived the lobby was full of our loving family…both our blood family and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Asa had a huge welcome party…but more about that later.

Everyone is Waiting to Meet the Baby

In the late afternoon Michelle’s contractions became more intense. I ran her a bath and she had a bath…then got back into bed…then got back into the bath. Every 5-10 minutes she was telling me how hot it was and asking if I would turn the air down. After a few hours the room was really frosty.

The labor significantly intensified. It was just Ashlea and I in the room with Michelle. We were not talking (except to pray) so that Michelle could concentrate. I prayed with Michelle through most contractions, thanking God that the birth pains would soon be gone and that Michelle would forget about them as she looked at her new baby. One of the things God showed us with Millicent’s birth is how intensely spiritual birth is. We definitely approach birth as a time of worship and communion with God.

The labor got pretty intense and Ashlea decided to go check on everyone in the waiting room. Delivery of a baby is definitely something you have to prepare for mentally ahead of time. The nurse came in to check on Michelle. She was acting so peaceful and calm that the nurse did not realize that Michelle’s water broke while she was standing there in the room. Of course, we did not want to be inundated with doctors and nurses…so we kept that information to ourselves.

Michelle knew the baby was coming soon and wanted to go get into the bathtub to deliver it. I told her no. I later explained that I knew that the sound of running water would bring the nurses in who had already expressed concern that she was getting up and down too much this late in her labor. Seriously, I don’t know if all hospitals are like that…but my opinion is that they really have things backward. I realize letting laboring women walk around is an insurance liability…but that is part of the problem. Anyway…it is really hard not to soapbox about all of this stuff….

Millicent had been fully born just a few minutes after Michelle’s water broke, so I put my finger to my lips to remind Michelle she had to be quiet if we were going to do this. A shot of adrenaline ran through me as I realized we were going to be able to deliver this baby by ourselves. I pulled the covers back and could tell that in just a few pushes we would meet our new son or daughter. Sure enough, Asa shot out so fast that I had to jump back to avoid being splattered by the wave of amniotic fluid he surfed out on (I know, I know…this birth story is pretty biological…hope you can handle it).

I gave Asa to Michelle and we both were thanking God and weeping. About a minute later she told me we had a son, but I already knew.

The nurses came in when they heard Asa cry and told us we had cheated. They hung around for a few minutes until it became obvious that we didn’t have any intention of handing Asa over for their inspection. He was clearly a healthy boy. They kindly brought us the materials we needed to cut the cord and then left us alone.

Our tradition is to let the youngest sibling of the newborn cut the cord. Kati cut Millicent’s and the plan was to let Mill cut Asa’s. Millicent’s first words upon seeing Asa were, “that baby’s oooowwee”. She did not want to touch the slimy little fella so we let Kori cut the cord. The doctor was a little freaked and said if she had known that was the plan she would not have let us. Oh well….too late.

That Baby's Ooooowwee!

The kids and I examined the placenta and sure enough it contained the tell-tale calcium deposits that are a dead giveaway that the mother had preeclampsia.

We let all of the kids have some time with Ace before we invited everyone else in. I didn’t count, but for a while I think we probably had about 30 people in the room. We love our family…but thankfully everyone had a look at Asa, said congrats, and said see you later.

Much to the nurses’ disapproval we announced that we were ready to leave about 2 hours later and headed home with our first son. As you can see in the picture below…he is doing very well.

9 months old

Babies

A few days before I opened this site my wife, Michelle, informed me she was pregnant (again) and so I guess the story below is being posted now because of that. It is the account I wrote of the birth of our youngest daughter (as of this post) in early 2006. Most of what you read at new-think will not be intensely personal....this is....enjoy.

The Birth of Millicent Grace Johnson: Father’s Perspective (March, 2006)

Millicent Eating Her Veggies

Early in Michelle’s pregnancy with Millicent we began discussing the possibility of a home birth. Initially I was nervous about the prospect. As I began to realize that this was something Michelle was really passionate about doing my nervousness led me into intense research and preparation. In that sense it was a gift from God. By the time Michelle was 6 months along we were decided on delivering the baby by ourselves. Furthermore, God had granted me peace with this decision (primarily through study and watching videos of d.i.y. homebirths) and had also helped me with my comfort level at being Michelle’s only prenatal care provider. This primarily consisted of monitoring her blood pressure and a few urine tests for protein. We decided internal exams were not necessary, and only did them a few weeks out from birth when our curiosity got the best of us and we wanted to know if there was any dilation or effacement.

It was the evening of January 26th (Thursday) when Michelle went into labor. We had been on a date and some contractions started up that did not end until Millicent was with us. Michelle endured approximately 40 hours of low grade contractions that were enough to keep her awake, but not enough to produce a baby. That time was a whirlwind of getting excited……then coming down from the excitement….getting excited again….then coming down. The engineer in me came out and I began creating charts and graphs to track her progress. Every time she had a contraction I was collecting data. How long was it? How intense? How long since the last contraction? The charts confirmed what would have been obvious without charts….not much progress was being made. Michelle mentioned that the charting was probably more beneficial to me than to anyone or anything else. She knows me very well.

By Saturday morning we were all fairly exhausted from anticipation. We (Michelle, me, and Millicent’s 3 big sisters) headed to my parents house to pass the time. My sister, Carol, and her family also joined us. Michelle later confided to me that she felt like a watched pot sitting on the couch visiting with my whole family. Perhaps that is why labor really took off once she retired to my parent’s room for a nap. I don’t think she slept much. After a few hours of intensifying contractions she told me she was going to take a bath. I was still charting…..and it, again, confirmed the obvious….labor was intensifying. I sat in the bedroom adjacent to the bath, watching my favorite basketball team (go pokes) on the television and intermittently asking Michelle how she was doing. When I realized that contractions were anywhere between 2.5 to 5 minutes apart and getting much harder I told Michelle that unless she wanted to have the baby at my parent’s house we needed to head home.

The ride home was interesting. Ashlea and Kati decided to come home for the birth, while Kori opted to stay with her grandparents. 14 year old Ashlea helped calm 6 year old Kati’s nervousness about the impending birth, even though I am sure Ashlea was quite excited as well. On the 25 minute drive home we had to stop 4 times for Michelle’s contractions. They were now to the point where she needed to focus everything on getting through them. I never worried that the baby would come while we were still in the van. God was with us and I felt just as peaceful throughout the whole experience as I would any Sunday sitting in church.

When we got home Michelle immediately got into the birth pool that I had been keeping filled with warm water since contractions started on Thursday. From that time until Millicent was born she only got out once to use the restroom. The birth pool really made things easier on her. We had planned for Michelle to labor in the pool and then get onto the floor or bed for delivery. Plans changed. Michelle announced that she was going to just stay in the birth pool. It sounded like a good idea to me. I lit a candle, turned on some music (mixed contemporary Christian), and found some good passages to read from the bible to comfort Michelle. It was around 5 pm on a beautiful sunny, January, day. All of our curtains were open and we could look out across the miles of uninhabited hills that surround our home as the sun shone in on us. As the contractions intensified we sent Ashlea and Kati out of our bedroom so Michelle could better concentrate. The contractions came one after another and I began loudly praying through them with Michelle. Even at this point, the climax of intensity of pain, the majority of prayers offered were of thanksgiving. I read aloud Christ’s words from John chapter 16,

I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

Obviously Christ’s analogy had never been so clear to us (at least me, Michelle was beyond the point of contemplating scripture). I was, and am, so thankful that God uses our earthly experience to teach us about His Kingdom.

Around 5:20 Michelle’s water broke. She almost immediately reported the urge to push. I encouraged her to listen to her body. In a matter of seconds Millicent’s head had crowned. I petted Millicent’s head (now under water) and even thought I could feel a soft little cheek beginning to emerge. I told Michelle to reach down and feel our baby’s head. She did. During the next push (I only remember 2 or 3 pushes total) Millicent came out into my hands. I have never rejoiced as I did at that moment. Of course I rejoiced at the birth of my other daughters, but in the hospital environment I was somewhat restrained by social convention. The first moment after birth was a very tender moment where, silently, I laid Millicent onto Michelle’s chest and we discovered she was a girl. We talked to her and kissed her…and each other….and we wept. If I could live in that moment, I would. Then a joy explosion took place in me, I was unrestrained. I ran through the house yelling….”Praise God!!!! Thank you Father!!!! Girls, come meet your baby sister!!!!

Things calmed a bit. Ashlea and Kati came in to meet Millicent. We had them leave for a few minutes while Michelle effortlessly delivered the placenta. We let them back in. Kati, who was mesmerized by her baby sister, also was interested in the placenta and she examined it carefully. Ashlea did not care to examine it. Soon Millicent was nursing, still attached to her mother. She was born hungry….and she has stayed that way. Kati cut the cord while Ashlea snapped a picture. We phoned everyone who’d been at my parent’s house earlier to let them know it was okay to come out now…..and to bring Michelle a cheeseburger.

It has been over 7 weeks since Millicent was born. She has never been to the doctor….In fact, she doesn’t even have a birth certificate (yet). She has never been sick, either. She has gained over 3 pounds since her birth. With 3 doting big sisters she rarely lacks for someone to oooh and ahhhh over how cute she is.

I loved Michelle with all of my being before this pregnancy and birth experience. I have read many birth stories were husbands and wives speak of the new found respect and love they have for their spouses coming out of the experience. I had such a high level of love and respect for Michelle before the birth that I cannot say that the birth changed it significantly…although it was certainly reinforced. I am thankful to God that He allowed us to trust Him, as a couple, in this experience. I pray that He will use this fortified trust in our marriage for the furtherance of His Kingdom and for the work He has prepared in advance for Michelle and me. I am so thankful that God blessed me with a wife like Michelle. No matter where or how our children are born…..I hope I never face the prospect of life without her. She was truly designed specifically for me. I hope we get to do this again and that God will continue to work with us, teaching us to raise the children He has already given us in a way that is profitable to His Kingdom.